Showing posts with label Donald Trump. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 18, 2025

Sketching the News #4 The Trump Pump That Didn’t Pump by Sarnia de la Maré for Politica UK

The Trump Pump That Didn’t Pump – Bitcoin, Trump & Crypto Confusion | Politica UK Podcast

DISCLAIMER
Sketching the News is a satirical political commentary series. All characters, scenarios, and descriptions in this article are fictionalised for humour, parody, and critical commentary. No allegations are made; real public figures are portrayed through exaggerated, imaginary scenarios for satirical effect only.

The Trump Pump That Didn’t Pump by Sarnia de la Maré for Politica UK.

Markets plunged today as Bitcoin continued its breathtaking descent from the dizzy heights of October, a fall experts are calling ‘predictable,’ ‘inevitable,’ and ‘surprisingly still not the bottom.

That's right, Bitcoin — the world’s most famous imaginary rock — has plummeted again.
And somewhere in Florida, the President of the USA is insisting it’s all going exactly to plan.

Because if you’ve forgotten, back in October, Donald Trump — Master of the Market, Keeper of the Golf Cart Keys, and part-time crypto visionary — declared his love for Bitcoin.
A ringing endorsement!
A Midas touch!
A sign of imminent prosperity!

Trump blessed this imaginary currency with his royal orange aura — behind its poker face, it fell faster than his legal defence funds.

He promised Bitcoin would rise.
Bitcoin did not rise.
Bitcoin fell over, rolled down a hill, and is currently lying in a ditch asking if anyone has a spare charger.

To be fair, crypto has always been a kind of mass performance art — a giant experimental theatre project involving millions of people pretending they understand what’s happening while nodding at charts like they’re reading ancient runes.

Crypto Confusion for the Masses

Meanwhile, the public continued their noble tradition of not understanding anything.
Ask the average citizen what Bitcoin is and watch them panic-smile while saying things like:

“It’s digital gold?”

“It’s like money but… not?”

“My cousin mines it. In his garage. I think it’s legal.”

“Just close the curtains, Janet. It’ll crash eventually.”

Nobody understands Bitcoin, but everyone pretends to, just in case someone asks about their “portfolio.”
And by “portfolio,” we of course mean one sad app they downloaded in 2021 because a YouTuber told them they’d be rich.

The upshot of the orange phenomenon is that
Crypto continues to plummet and the public continues to ignore it.
Your hairdresser does not care.
Your gran does not care.
The nation is collectively shrugging so hard it could dislocate a shoulder.

The only people still talking about Bitcoin are:

evangelists on podcasts,

men at barbecues who start their sentences with “Look, the thing you’ve got to understand…”,

and politicians who desperately need the youth vote but don’t do TikTok.

The Moral of the Story

So what does all this mean?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Crypto goes up, crypto goes down.
Politicians make promises, markets ignore them, unless it is Liz Truss.
Bitcoin continues its existential poetry slam in the dark recesses of the internet.
And we — the normal people — carry on with our day, entirely unelected and blissfully unbothered, still trying to work out how to pay bills online.

In its defence though, Bitcoin has proved to be an emotional support animal for men who call themselves “entrepreneurs” on LinkedIn.

For more moral judgements and irreverence, join me tomorrow wherever you get your podcasts.

This was an officially sarcastic podcast for politica.taletellerclub.com.

Arts Editor & Lead Visual Satirist
Sarnia de la Maré
Creator of the Politica UK caricature series,
visual commentary, and editorial satire.
Founder
Sarnia de la Maré
Editorial Direction
Sarnia de la Maré

Saturday, November 15, 2025

Sketching the News — #1: Trump, the BBC, and the Licence Fee Shake-Down

Donald Trump vs the BBC: The Billionaire Who Wants Your Licence Fee

There are certain headlines that make Britain collectively choke on its tea. “Donald Trump threatens to sue the BBC” is one of them.

Not because the idea of Trump threatening legal action is shocking — he’s sued (or threatened to sue) everything from entire newspapers to comedy shows to, reportedly, a small Welsh farmer (long story). No, the real eyebrow-raiser is the unintended punchline:

If Trump sues the BBC… UK licence fee payers could, in theory, end up footing the bill.

Yes.
You.
Me.
Your nan in Worthing who only wants to watch Strictly.
All of us.
Potentially paying the world’s richest political performer for the privilege of him being offended.

The Irony Is Almost Too On-the-Nose

The BBC is not a private corporation lounging on Scrooge McDuck vaults. It’s a public service broadcaster with a funding model that is, famously, unpopular with everyone — except, apparently, Donald J. Trump, who may have just discovered it’s a pot of money he might like a scoop from.

The licence fee:

£169 a year.
A sore point in every British household.
Not designed, one imagines, to bankroll a former US president’s legal adventures.

Yet here we are.

Trump, Outrage, and the Perpetual Motion Machine

Trump’s relationship with the press is well-documented: he criticises them, sues them, sues them some more, and then uses the lawsuits to reinforce his criticism. It is a loop as predictable as the EastEnders doof-doofs.

But the BBC is not some rogue blog. It’s the BBC. The idea of suing Auntie is a bit like suing a church bell — it’s loud, occasionally irritating, but suing it feels spiritually wrong.

But Trump has never been one to resist a spotlight, particularly if it’s one he can invoice.

The Truly British Tragedy: Paying for All This

Should a case progress (and most of Trump’s threats don’t), the unfortunate reality is that the BBC’s defence comes from its pot of public money. Which means:

Britain’s poorest households — those who already struggle with the licence fee — could effectively fund a billionaire’s fight against an institution they didn’t even criticise.

Austerity Britain meets Mar-a-Lago.
It’s the most unlikely crossover episode of 2025.

Meanwhile, Back in Reality…

The BBC will almost certainly defend itself vigorously. Trump will almost certainly continue shouting into microphones. And the British public will almost certainly continue Googling “Do I really have to pay the licence fee?” while quietly paying it anyway.

But the optics are too exquisite to ignore:

A publicly funded broadcaster potentially being shaken down by a man who literally lives in a gold-plated penthouse.

It is, politically speaking, the equivalent of being mugged by someone driving a Lamborghini.

Final Thoughts

Whether this becomes a real legal ordeal or just another entry in Trump’s ever-expanding list of legal sparring matches, one thing is certain:

If anyone is going to cost the British public more money this year, it really didn’t need to be a billionaire from Queens.

But this is where we are — in a world where the culture wars have reached such a fever pitch that the UK might accidentally contribute to Trump’s legal coffers.

If it wasn’t tragic, it would be hilarious.
And let’s face it — it is hilarious.